A Special Message to Control Freaks

Introduction

There’s not a lot to say on this subject, but management does seem to attract control freaks in inordinate numbers. My own experience as a control freak was a bit hilarious. I decided that it was time to research OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) tendencies, and so I went online and ordered three books. Right. Not one book, but three. As I explained this to someone, she just laughed, nearly rolling around on the floor. Ordering three books on obsessive compulsive tendencies seems to confirm the diagnosis before even cracking open one of the books, no?

Laugh along with me about that, but being a control freak is not pleasant. For the perpetrator or the victims. We don’t need to get bogged down on this particular subject, but there are a few observations I’d like to make. I’ll try to make them as kindly but directly as I can.

Quality vs. Control

One common line of reasoning I frequently hear from control freaks is that they are fixated on quality and unless they act like a control freak, too many things slip through the cracks. It’s as if no one quite measures up to their own standards, and so they’re trapped inevitably in the loop of approvals, sign-offs, corrections, and always touching things at every step. It’s no surprise, then, when they become a bottleneck and get even more frustrated.

This idea that the control freak acts in this manner to preserve quality is really just a ruse, however. Because if they were really that interested in quality, they’d put more systems and processes in place to ensure better quality. No, what’s really happening is that they want control, and so they define the standard as how they would do it, and that can change on a whim.

If you’re really concerned about quality, put the right systems and processes into place, along with the right people, and manage that way. Otherwise you’ll be a bottleneck, and that is frustrating for you and frustrating for them.

In the bigger scheme of things, your standards probably aren’t that important anyway. Frankly, you probably have people noodling the life out of projects, perfecting areas where no one notices except you. 

The Terrors of Delegation

Take that bottleneck illustration above: the insistence on seeing everything before it’s approved. What’s really at stake, here? To answer that question, I want you to picture something with me.

Assume that you’re leaving on vacation tomorrow. Given that, what do you think you’d be doing today? We know the answer to that: you’d be putting everything you can in writing for one purpose, and that’s to ensure that people won’t need to bother you on vacation. As a control freak, you’re probably so inundated with detail while you are at work, that you really need a break when that vacation rolls around.

So you go on vacation and sure enough, all those notes explaining things worked. No one had to bother you and things went pretty darned well, right? They didn’t need you like they normally do. In fact, things may have even run better during your absence!

But the story doesn’t end there. You get back to work and everything goes back to the way it was before. A little bit of chaos. A lot of scurrying around. You touching everything like before, ensuring that things are done well.

Stop for a second and think about this, though. You put everything in writing so that you wouldn’t be bothered. So it stands to reason that you DON’T put things in writing because you DO want to be bothered! What other explanation could there be?

This explains some of your control freak tendencies and your reticence to put better systems and processes in place: it’s designed so that you are kept inevitably in the loop. That last sentence is key to understanding your tendencies.

Preserving Your Mental Health

Let me make some suggestions that might help keep your control freak tendencies in check.

First, recognize that these tendencies will always be there. You can learn to see them coming, work at taming them, and even avoid them at some points, but you won’t be able to eliminate them.

Second, recognize that your greatest weakness is actually your greatest strength. It’s just a matter of degree and focus. Don’t overuse it or that strength becomes a weakness. In other words, you’re that kind of person and there are times when that kind of person brings great strengths to a given task.

Third, recognize that you will always be misunderstood to some degree. That just comes with the territory. This could feed your tendency to be even more of a control freak, but you must not let that happen.

Fourth, and very much in keeping with the previous point, keep your paranoia to a dull roar. The world is not out to get you, and your fears simply make you see things behind the shadows.

Finally, know who you are, keep a careful eye on what’s important to you in the management environment, and then just don’t worry about the rest of the mess. Your job is to do what the business needs, and to take care of the people. They’ll take care of the clients or you’ll die trying to do it yourself. You are in the people business. They are in the client business.